The Spoon Theory
by
Patricia Hardman
I’ve been meaning to write something about the Spoon Theory for a while now. It’s one of those things that really clicks when you’re living with a chronic condition — not just because it explains fatigue, but because it gives us a language to talk about it. I first came across the Spoon Theory a few years ago, thanks to friends with ME and other long-term illnesses who called themselves “Spoonies.” At the time, I understood it in y. Now, living with SS and all the bits that come along with it — the fatigue, the pain, the planning — I understandin prace. It’s not just a helpful metaphor anymore; it’s part of how I explain my life to others and, often, how I make sense of it myself.
I have known about the spoon theory for several years as I have friends with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) and other Chronic illnesses; they often refer to themselves as Spoonies. I posted a link to an article on the Spoon Theory from the brain charity on TSB FaceBook page in June followed by a poll asking if people had to take a nap every day. Admittedly only a small number of people replied, but of those 75% of those who did said yes!
I was diagnosed with SS in 2016 and after the initial shock and with the support of Jason and all you lovely people on TSB, I got on with my life. My symptoms have got worse but are still very mild compared to many of you. Hearing loss, Neuropathic pain (including sciatica), slight ataxia, intermittent vertigo and myoclonus - the latter thankfully controlled by Gabapentin. About 3 years ago I found that I sometimes needed rest in the afternoon. This became more regular and the rest turned into a nap… I now have to have a lie-down for about 2 hours every afternoon, with a heat mat under my back. If I miss one or even worse 2 days, I am a wreck.
So how does this relate to the Spoon Theory? Among the many clinical features of SS are:
Neurological Reserve Reduction: Diminished ability of the nervous system to withstand neurological insults. This causes…
Fatigue: Chronic and debilitating tiredness
Having one or both of these symptoms reduces the amount of energy that is available to function normally, even seemingly minor tasks can seem huge.
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If the spoons analogy doesn’t work for you, then perhaps think of the battery charge indicator on your phone. If you are fully rested then you are 100% charged up. Everything that you do in a day uses some of that charge. For those of us with chronic fatigue that charge runs out really quickly and unfortunately, we can’t just plug ourselves into the charger!
We have to learn to prioritise all the things on our “to do” lists. First of all throwing out or delegating those things that we really don’t need to do and then deciding what is urgent and what can wait. Going back to my garden. I am the gardener in our house because I enjoy the process as well as the results (my husband trims the hedge as that would require my climbing a stepladder with the hedge-trimmer!). The garden is a mess but we have a few pots loaded with flowers, raspberries and tomatoes to eat, the local cats love running through the long grass (I’m trying to grow a wild-flower area), and the pollinators love all of the flowers. My priority is picking the fruit,
making sure the pots are watered, and looking after our tiny pond. The very untidy heap of empty flowerpots, sorting out the composter, and other jobs can all wait - they aren’t going anywhere.
The Spoon Theory helps us explain what it means to live with limited energy — how even small, everyday tasks can feel like mountains when you’re constantly managing fatigue. Whether you think in spoons or battery percentages, the point is the same: we can’t do it all, all the time. We have to choose, plan, pace, and most importantly, allow ourselves rest without guilt. These aren’t just habits; they’re survival tools. I still love my garden, but now I know my limits — and I honour them. It’s not giving in; it’s adapting. Life with SS might mean fewer spoons, but with a bit of awareness and kindness to ourselves, we can still make them count.
Those of us with chronic fatigue no longer have unlimited energy, we cannot plan to fill our days with activities, we have to limit and pace ourselves. Think of each spoon as a portion of energy - how many portions of energy (how many spoons) does it take to do everyday activities such as take a shower, make breakfast, do the washing up? The answers for each of us will be diffent, but for each of us these are things that we need to think about and possibly plan for. I love gardening and used to think nothing of spending most of the day in the garden when the temperature wasn’t too hot. I have to limit myself to about 2 hours now, anymore and I am borrowing spoons from the next day. I have had to give myself permission to have my nap every day, and that necessitates factoring that block of time into any plans for the day.